The Quest for answers...

Hello everyone,

     I am the mom to an amazing 8 year old boy.  His life began like every other child, he walked early, talked on time and met every other milestone like every other kid.  Then we began to notice that he didn't play with the other kids, didn't like to have me out of his sight, sang or scripted regularly, rocked continuously and always had to have some part of him moving.  We just figured he was different, no big deal.
     Then he started kindergarten and the illnesses began.  He had several sore throats, fevers, and ear infections.  Not to mention the belly aches and head aches.  We saw numerous Dr.'s and finally decided to homeschool him for remainder (4 months) of the school year.  Finally in May of 2011, the Dr.'s said "It's his tonsils and adenoids".  So, we had them removed and began preparing for him to return to public school.
     By the end of the Summer he was again having stomach aches, and head aches.  The first day of school came and so did the melt down.  He held me and begged me not to send him.  I made him stay, it was the hardest thing I have EVER done.  I went home and had a good cry.  I picked him up from school, and he was still miserable but willing to go back.  Over the next few weeks he made a couple of friends.  He still woke up every morning refusing to go, and every night crying.  In November of 2011 the stomach aches got worse as did the diarrhea and head aches.  Off to the Dr. we went, when we got there the Dr. told us it could be lactose intolerance. So, we took him home and stopped all dairy.  He seemed to get better, then we had to send him back to school.  The stomach aches returned and the fever, he missed so much school that I actually had to have my Dr. call and tell the school that my Monkey was really ill.
     By February of 2012 things were really out of control, he was crying at the mention of school, but was earning fantastic grades and not acting out in class.  I now know that my Monkey internalizes a lot of things and it is not easy for him to express when he is upset out of our home.  We went back to the Dr. and he said he felt that my Monkey had severe school anxiety and that he thought he may have asperger's (today it is just Autism Spectrum Disorder), I blasted the Dr., telling him that my son did NOT have any disorder, that he was sick on the weekends too, and if he had a disorder then he would be fine over the weekend (I know, complete denial).  I had friends with spectrum kids, who asked me if Monkey was on the spectrum and of course I got angry with them.
     I just wasn't ready for any of it, I felt like my precious, perfect baby boy was being stolen from me.  He began to regress, wanting to be held, talking baby talk, wanting his toddler toys and stuffed animals to play with.
     In May of 2013 my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer and given a month to live, so my oldest son flew down to FL from NYC, and Monkey and I flew down from NH.  It was a horrible time in all of our lives and much more so for Monkey, although I didn't realize it at the time.  My mom passed away on May 28, 2012.
     Monkey seemed to be adjusting well to life in FL.  That is, until we started looking to enroll him in school.  The stomach aches, fevers, headaches, vomiting, and diarrhea all came back.  So, I decided that maybe my Dr. and friends were right.  I began to look for a virtual school for my Monkey, and to ask questions about ASD.  I got him enrolled in a virtual school where he has excelled beyond my wildest dreams!  Getting to the bottom of his issues, has been a LONG hard road.  Last year we got no where, and I guess I didn't fight hard enough.  This year I demanded help and we are now getting a full evaluation and the school does believe that my Monkey is on the spectrum.
     My son used to be able to do many things without being asked, today he can feed his pets with no reminder.  He cannot however brush his teeth without help, must be told to take a shower, to take his medicine (fiber and stool softener), to clean up his toys, to put his clothes in the laundry, and many more things.  He is often sad, doesn't have friends no matter how hard he tries, has emotional breakdowns where he will cry for 45-90 minutes, and has tantrums where he throws things and hits himself.
     I am starting to get used to these things, and truly enjoy every moment I have with my Monkey, my life would be empty without him.  I am so lucky to have a special boy who is able to speak, and say I love you.  I know that not every mom gets to hear that or even gets to hear her baby's voice.
     We don't have an official diagnosis as of yet, but we and the school psychologist feel that he is on the spectrum and we are getting a full evaluation done.  We meet with the social worker on Wednesday, November 6, 2013 and are having him observed interacting with other kids on Thursday, November 7, 2013.  We will also have him evaluated by professionals outside of the school district.
     I hope you will follow us on this journey for answers, as we learn where on the spectrum Monkey is, and follow his milestones and his bright smile.
     Thank you all for letting me share.