It has been awhile since I posted, it's hard to keep up with this because I am also keeping a med log and notes on Monkey's behavior and sleep patterns for the Dr.'s as well as for myself. This post will be about our struggles with counselor's who do not keep appointments, meds that just don't work, finding the right behavioral center/psychiatrist/therapists, Monkey's anxiety, our sleepless nights and how we are trying to deal with it all.
As many of you know, we were going to SunCoast Mental Health Center for children. Our experience was not a good one. Our first counselor quit her job after our first meeting with her, and we didn't find out until I called her because she was 30 minutes late to our meeting. Of course this schedule change did not go over well with Monkey who took it personally and spent the rest of day very emotional and feeling out of place and anxious. The policy at SunCoast is that a counselor must meet with a child a minimum of 4 times before a referral to psych for meds can be made. So, we got another counselor through SunCoast. This one seemed to be really engaged and very nice. Unfortunately, after the second visit, she called to cancel our session 15 minutes before she was due at our home. She did this 3 times in a row, so we called the center and told them we didn't want her anymore. While all of this was going on, Monkey was put on Prozac and Clonodine by his neurologist, well the Prozac after a week of working didn't work anymore, and an increase in the dose, made him very depressed, and the Clonodine lowered his blood pressure to much so the neurologist made a referral for psych. So, we informed the program director of SunCoast that Monkey needed to see psych and we had a referral. He said "We only accept referrals from our counselors." My husband then got very angry, there was talk of suing the program and Monkey had an appointment for the next day with the psych. When we arrived at the office we were informed that he would see the psych nurse practitioner and that this is standard...She took him off of the clonodine entirely and put him on imiprimine, which made him very depressed. When I called the center to speak to the nurse, I got her secretary who told me that it would not be possible for me to talk to the nurse, but that she would call her...Long story short, we cut SunCoast loose, and are now going to Legacy Behavioral. They are AMAZING!
So, we met with the psych at Legacy on Monday and he put Monkey on Zoloft and Ativan. Monkey was wide awake at 2am on the first night, so I made a call the next day to the office. The psychiatrist called me back in a reasonable amount of time and we decided to increase his Aitvan dose at night. Tuesday night Monkey was up until 7am! The psychiatrist called to check on him, and I told him that he didn't go to sleep until 7am and he immediately made an appointment for Tuesday (he isn't in town) to change meds and said to increase the dose of Ativan until then. He promised me that we would figure it all out, and just generally showed that he cared.
Monkey's anxiety is pretty severe, he shakes, he cries, he heart races, he feels like he is in a dream and things are moving away from him. I have anxiety and I know how hard it can be for me to cope with it, I can only imagine how it would feel to be 9 years old and have that kind of fear inside. It breaks my heart for him. So, we spend lots of cuddling, talking about how it will get better, and some days we watch the sunset and rise, and hope that it will get better sooner than later.
Those of you reading this who do not believe in medication for kids, please don't judge those of who choose that route, this journey is different for all of us, and I am just trying to get some relief for my Monkey boy, I just want him to be able to sleep at night, calmly and without fear. Our ultimate goal is to have him not need medication and we are hoping that with therapy this will happen. The road is long, but we walk it together, and love one another and have faith for the future.
Those of you reading this, who have been on this journey with me from the beginning, I thank you for reading what I post, for following us on facebook and for always reminding me, that we are not alone and that together we can overcome anything! Thanks to all of the people who sit up at night and listen when I need to talk! Thank you to my husband who goes to every appointment, listens to my fears and reminds me daily that I am a great mom, and that I am doing all I can.
Thanks for listening and remember, DIFFERENT NOT LESS! If I have left anything out, please forgive me, and call my attention to it, I will gladly add on! If you have questions or just want to talk, leave a comment or find me on facebook. Remember always that you are NOT alone.
